Bed Time Blues

Bielet is almost 31mo.
Have been trying to get her to sleep in her own bed, but our unpredictable night schedules make this quite difficult.
Especially with ZX away and us staying over at my parents' most weeknights these couple of months (and my room only has one queen sized bed)...
She is actually quite okay sleeping in her own bed at home, just so long as mama snuggles in with her until she falls asleep.

It seems like just yesterday that Bielet was a small bub.
We let her sleep in her cot the first couple of nights but night time nursing was such a battle that I succumbed to letting her lie in between ZX and I. So easy - cue cry for milk, lie on side, pop the boob, sleep - and repeat again in next 2.5hrs.
Sure, I did have the occasional (or more) jolt from my sleep to make sure her breathing was uninterrupted and that we/blanket/pillow hadn't smothered her.

Then the days became weeks, later months.
Even when I stopped nursing Bielet, I loved cuddling her to sleep - especially since sleeptime was probably the most I spent with her after I returned to work.
Her hot little breath on my cheek, the usual flap of a little palm onto my nose, a sudden kick jabbing my ribs. I loved them all.

Now that I've stopped working full-time and spend so much more time in the day with Bielet, I know I really should encourage the independent sleeping.

But

I miss our head jostling matches for my pillow
I miss holding her tiny hand and interwining my fingers with hers when our hands meet
I miss her rolling over and hugging me for no reason at all
I miss the little snores of hers reverberating through my eardrums
I miss sometimes finding a toe at my chin
I miss hearing her once-in-a-blue-moon sleep chatter or giggles
(But I sure don't miss catching a whiff of a soiled diaper)

You guessed correct that I'm typing this while in bed with Bielet.
She's growing up too fast, me thinks. Soon, I won't have a choice because she won't want to sleep with me :((

#mamaproblems